Update on : I trusted someone in the film industry that was in fact, a predator
That post had more views than anything else ever on my website, it’s nearly on par with home page views which has absolutely boggled my mind.
I had the most wonderful outpour of support, phone calls, emails, private DM’s, comments from so many people across the world. So much advice too!
Firstly let’s do some safe guarding. If you’re ever in a similar situation to mine here are some steps:
Record everything, every message, fb message, screen shot as much as possible. Even get call logs if they have over stepped that mark too.
Contact your local police (101) and lay down everything that has happened. Record your crime number.
PLEASE consider the words of warning, the police will have to inform them it was you that made the complaint but consider this, they will be about preying on others, they will be walking about as if they are above everyone, getting away with it. Most of the time a visit from the police can be enough to deter a predator. Not in my case but it builds a case for the police.
Contact the police every time the predator tries to contact you. Even if it seems harmless.
BECTU - great shout from many people. They offer free advice, legal and otherwise.
Times Up - a great charity which I’ve just contacted. I’m hoping to include anymore safeguarding tactics I can in the future.
Let any productions you’re working on know about this predator, don’t let them use up any space in an industry that is rather hard to safe guard against.
If you have an agent, let them know right away.
So to continue and add to my story…
After my blog post went out, I was half expecting a back lash but none happened. I was relieved and went about my business hoping this predator got the idea that I was deadly serious and to stay the fuck back.
I work regularly on Silent Witness with the BBC, anyone who follows me in any capacity knows this. So imagine my utter gut wrenching sickening thud when I went on IMDB to check the name of someone on set and see this persons name crop up. Full shaking, panic mode switched on and I had to take a moment (cup of tea and gluten free biscuit time) and say to myself ‘they are either lying or it’s true’ - so I did what any normal human being would do, I contacted the team and asked. Yup they were on it. Now. We could all sit here and surmise this was just a weird coincidence or we could be much more instinctive about it and safely assume this person had sought out to be on the same set I was to try and intimidate me off the show or catch me off guard whilst on set to scare me. One, I’m so fucking glad I checked before going back on set.
After chatting with the team I simply asked that they make sure I’m not on set with this person, ever due to an ongoing police issue. They of course asked further questions so I obliged. They said they wouldn’t allow them back on set full stop. (So much love for the BBC right now and the production team). They were concerned for the safety of the rest of the team and didn’t want someone in that position to jeopardise the awesome vibe the crew have. Fair enough and kudos to them. Unfortunately that same day I got an email from them within an hour. Basically threatening to sue me for libel, that I had to ‘get on with my life’, that they had ‘left me alone’ (oh the irony) and all sorts… also finally stating that they would be civil if they saw me on set.
Can you imagine my internal dialogue? - I don’t want you on ANY set I’m part of, I don’t want you fucking near me or any other ‘vulnerable’ person who might just be starting out in their career. PERIOD.
I didn’t respond of course, just called the police again and logged it along with them potentially seeking out the sets I’m on to scare or intimidate me which the police agreed was quite suspect.
You know what the worst thing was? After their email, for a short while, I felt guilty. Maybe I had taken it too far, was I over reacting? Being ‘juvenile’ as they had put it. The gas-lighting from them and misplaced guilt on my end is strong. They know what they are doing. They know exactly what buttons to push. They are manipulative; roots deep. On top of all of that to actually bring myself out of that headspace, I remind myself - They take NO responsibility for their actions, they don’t realise they are not getting work because of what THEY HAVE DONE. Not me. I’m the one holding the mirror up whilst they continue to blame everyone around them, lie through their teeth and throw the toys out of the cot to try and regain some control over me.
They can still fuck right off.
